Coming down from Chris's favorite episode of Xena, we now have the episode that Chris was dreading the most! The mainstream media didn't really know the difference between being trans and doing drag, so we're going to do our best to clarify! Special guest Ashley Rogers (@LucretiaDear4) us to discuss the history of drag and the safe space it presented for the trans community in the 90s... but we also spend plenty of time making fun of some very unfortunate ribbon twirling.
"If she fucked that snake, I would have binged the season!" -Ashley
We’re perpetuating the war on Christmas by skipping A Solstice Carol (because we already talked about it last year) and jumping right into The Xena Scrolls, Chris’s ultimate favorite episode of Xena Warrior Princess! Special guest Annie Craton (@anniezard) returns to help us figure out if this episode is an actual clip show, or just a show with clips. But whatever it is, we know it DID inspire the entire concept of uber fic. And has Ally finally found a replacement for her Lymond obsession? FIND OUT NOW!
When Lucy Lawless fell off a horse, Hudson Leick took the reins! That's right, it's a Xena in Callisto's body episode, where we learn that the opposite of war isn't peace: it's losing your goddamn mind and starting a brawl over some discounted fishcakes. We are joined by special guest Alex Vernon, who once made her own Xena costume! Also... exactly what is the worthless piece of a centaur?
Chris and Ally are joined by special guest Ashley Anderson, who knows more about Xena Warrior Princess than any of you. Xena and Callisto have switched bodies and Joxer's getting into shibari, so it's tropes all around! Callisto's trying to make good on her promise to kill everything Xena loves (even her horse), Gabrielle is insightful as always, and Hudson Leick certainly does attempt the warcry. She sure tries.
This episode features not one, not two, but THREE Lucys Lawless. Special guest Susana Polo (@NerdGerhl) helps Chris and Ally identify who is the polite one, who is the slutty one, and who is the one who can do flips. Some new evidence is brought to the table in the great debate about Gabrielle's hair color, some more important ancient greeks get shafted for the sake of a syndicated television show, and the Xena foley artists truly earn their keep.
Just what the internet needs - a man explaining some nerdy thing to a woman. Ally hasn't been too keen on comics lately. Fortunately, Chris knows a lot about comics! In this patreon-funded bonus episode, Chris tells Ally about The Marriage of Hercules and Xena. YUP! It's a thing. Try not to cringe too hard.
Hudson Leick and her outie are back for this iconic episode: The Return of Callisto! But have you heardicus? Guess who’s ALSO back: It’s Perdicus! It’s reunions left and right here as Gabrielle, uh, marries her old boyfriend??? We learn that if you give a Greg an inch, he’ll Greg up a whole mile. But what is a Greg? Why, it’s what we call the one-off, disposable love interests used as the wedge that politically correct 90s television just loved to jam between Xena and Gabrielle. And who better to join us for this ultimate Gregisode than the original Greg himself: Greg Musselman (@Eurogerg), who, as a martial artist, has actually seen the pinch done in real life! We also have some thoughts on Joxer’s relationship with THE FRIEND ZONE, because why not.
Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness
There are no New Zealand actors on Black Sails (that we know of), but that doesn’t stop us from having Daphne Olive (@daphneolive) as our guest! In this episode, we learn that you don’t have to become a lesbian if you already ARE a lesbian. Bacchus/Dionysus is the myth du jour, and between coding, the social climate of the late 90s, and men controlling the narrative of women’s sexuality, there’s a lot to unpack. There's also some glorious 90s trip hop, as Daphne relives her 20s and Ally relives her days in the Matrix fandom. But mostly, it's just us rolling our eyes at the old dated belief that the gas are out to convert the straights.
Psst. We heard that Jonathan had an 8 pack... that Jonathan was shredded. Oh, don't you remember Jonathan, the biblical hero of the, um, uh... children of Abraham? No? Well, you probably think giants don't exist either! That they're just taller-than-average dudes in some nice armor. Bet you didn't know about ARISTOTLE'S DEATH RAY either! Ally and Chris are joined once again by Kel McDonald (@kelhound) to psalmsplain this biblical episode and talk about everyone's favorite subject: religion!
Join us, folks, as Xena Warrior Business crosses over the line into the dark web! From Capoeira ruffians to Ally schooling two grown men on Renaissance Faire style clothing, if you love women chanting in the fields, this is the episode for you! Special guest David Isaac (@DCDariusknight) joins us as Xena gives up being a warrior for the sake of a dead brother, and offers up a brand new way to pronounce the warrior princess's name!
Vacation's over, pals, and we're back with everything you've been waiting for: MORE CENTAURS!! And yet another barely-adequate child actor who's appeared on The Tribe. Stephen Gaulin (@StephenGaulin) returns to help us as we kick back, relax, brush up on our horse anatomy, and prepare to get stoned. IXION stoned, that is! If you think giving birth to a baby ends once the baby is out, THINK AGAIN.
Well, we finally made it. It's the end of season 1, where Chris and Ally learn that you're never REALLY friends until you've both died in each other's arms. This episode has some wonderful highs, tempered by some pretty heinous lows. There's also a human woman giving birth to a centaur child, aka GIVING BIRTH TO A HORSE. There's also a post mortem on season 1, where we ask the big question: IS SEASON 1 EVEN WORTH WATCHING? There is also an original song featured at the end of this episode!!! Yes!!! It's true!!!
This episode swaps Xena's dark past with a merely plaintive one as we get a fairly underwhelming origin story and a fairly underwhelming SECOND brother for Xena to play off of for a single episode. Chris and Ally are joined by Kelsey Buckmaster, who has never caught an arrow mid-flight but HAS shot one in half. She also shares some pretty fascinating and wholly unexpected (seriously, you'll never be able to guess!) information on actor Joseph Kell. But also, is "drumstick" a euphemism for being gay and liking dick? Please, someone tell us. Is this really a thing? Join us as we discuss Season 1 Episode 23 of Xena Warrior Princess: DEATH MASK.
WELP. It's official. This show is officially good. Three killer episodes IN! A! ROW! Finally, we get a watershed moment for Xena coming to terms with her guilt over her [kiwi accent] dark past [/kiwi accent]. Finally, we get... CALLISTO. Chris and Ally (Yes, you read that right - Chris is back!) are joined by special guest Alastair Stephens (@paperbullets) to discuss ladders and why we need them, opposition and why it is a powerful theme, and farm jail. Oh, and Joxer shows up, too!
STAY TUNED at the end of the episode for a brand new ORIGINAL SONG recapping the episode, written and performed by Allison Stock.
So I heard you liked Xena podcasts, so we took your Xena podcast and we put a Xena podcast on your Xena podcast. That's right, Allison is joined by Katie, Livy and Vera from XENA WARRIOR PODCAST!!! Two podcasts, both alike in dignity, in fair New Greeceland where we lay our scene. Both Xena Warrior Business and Xena Warrior Podcast started at around the same time, and we felt it was appropriate for our powers to combine for this
In the immortal words of Stefon: this podcast has got EVERYTHING: laughter! lord seltzer! swapping bodies with a chicken! tobias menzies! all 3 different hair colors on gabrielle! cheekbones! mystery abs! xena's first time dying on screen! a new underdress for xena! did we mention LORD SELTZER!!! It's a CAN'T MISS episode for anyone who's ever wanted to listen to a Xena podcast but weren't sure where to start. But whatever you do, don't forget: XENA DID IT FIRST!
Katie (@katetocci), Vera (@hollywoodgrrl) and Livy (@ponderouslivy) run a Xena podcast of their own (@XenaWarriorPod). Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness
In a special Marvel edition of the podcast, Ally is joined by Laura Kammerman (laurizzlek) and Andrea Towers (_atowers), her friends from work! The women of marvel (not sponsored by Women of Marvel) talk about how Xena was challenging gender roles in the nineties, and things get personal when it comes to abandonment, self confidence, and relating to Xena as a strong and powerful woman. You better believe that Xena is more than just a "strong female character" trope on legs. Also, both of this episode's guests have been touched by greatness, as they have met both Hudson Leick (Callisto) and Lucky goddamn Lawless herself. Tune in to hear all the juicy details!
This is an episode of firsts for Xena. It is the first interpretation of a bible story (oh boy). It is the first time Xena and Gabrielle bathe together. It is the first (and last) time we hear anyone talk about how much kids love nut bread. It is also the first appearance of Karl Urban, this show's most prolific guest actor, in his least memorable role as Farmer With The Heart of Coal. We are joined by Kit Walker (@inferiorwit) the prolific podcast host who unfortunately has a lot of Chris and Ally's JAR BUSINESS to put up with. Nevertheless, Karl Urban is finally here, and so now the show can finally get on with being the Xena Warrior Princess that we all know and love. Oh, and also Gabrielle can talk to rocks. This episode makes it canon. IT IS REAL!!! And then Lymond gets a headache.
It's Home Alone IV: Lost in New Greeceland! Vegetarians beware, because Ally has some beef on this Gabrielle-centric episode of Xena. We learn what "Gabby Style!" entails, and, spoiler alert, it's just hitting dudes in the crotch with sticks. For this episode, Chris and Ally got themselves and actual Irishman, Nathan Stockman (@stockmannate), an authority on red hair, to set the record straight once and for all on Gabrielle's hair color. But most important of all: my kingdom for a coverage tree!
He wears green, he steals things, he's Robin Hood with a Greek name: AUTOLYCUS IS HERE! Lovingly portrayed by Bruce Campbell, the King of thieves breathes life into this wonderful episode with his first appearance on Xena Warrior Princess. Bonus points go to our special guest, Chad Bowers (@ChadBowers), who had two sleeping children and still managed to yodel at least six times for us. This episode contains a really good villain, a deep dive into how people got in touch before phones were invented, Allison discovering what innuendo is, lots of dumpy hats, and a dude getting lightsaber'd through the chest with a fireball. It's Season 1 Episode 17 of Xena: The Royal Couple of Thieves, and by the way, did Xena invent rock candy?
Of all the episodes to turn upsettingly horny, Chris didn’t think this was going to be the one. Oh, well. This episode marks a return of Marcus, Xena's road not taken. Xena sees firsthand the repercussions of a life of wickedness, and that her acts of good might not actually be enough to redeem her. Also, Hades has a dog skin helmet of invisibility. We're joined by Annie Craton (@anniezard) of podcasts The Jem Jam and I Will Fight You.
Xena has many skills. Xena also has many twins. This episode introduces the first of many dopplegangers to come, with the unexpected added bonus of a side-Greg to Greg things up. Chris and Allison learn about the history of bread and cheese as a meal, along with how to be a convincing Xena (stop crying). There's a fountain phallus, there's some stuff about horses' tails, and there's the softest molotov cocktail you'll ever see. We are joined by Sailor Business all-star guest, Artlee King Vasquez (@theonlyartlee), who is a champion of humor and insight, and who refuses to take shit from both Xena Warrior Princess AND Xena Warrior Business.
If ever there was a time to google Ambrosia Salad, now, dear listeners, is that time. Here's a question: if New Zealand is an Island, and that Island has treature on it, and Thirst Trap, Log Lady, and Tummy Palace go on a treasure hunt on New Zealand, is this episode based on Treasure Island?? Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) joins us, bringing her expertise of Ye Olde 90's-and-early-oughts Internet, as well as a prior knowledge of having VISITED WHOOSH DOT ORG!!! Uber fic, Forever Knight and Due South are discussed, many beaded curtains are parted and walked through, and Allison finally gets sick of a joke! Search your memory tummy for clues!