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Xena Warrior Business

A mighty podcast forged in the heat of conversation. Xena Warrior Princess fans Chris Sims and Allison Stock are joined by delightful guests every other week to watch every episode of the iconic nineties show and analyze what made it so endearing. They also discuss just what, exactly, about Xena makes her a princess. The power, the passion, the danger... this podcast will change the world.
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Xena Warrior Business
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Aug 30, 2019

Y'all ready for some Tarot business or what? Xena and Gabrielle's rift has come to a head, things can't possibly get any worse, so the only way out is through. Through SONG, that is! Ally and Chris never dreamed that they'd be distanced by a mutual love and appreciation for THE BITTER SUITE, the iconic musical and very tarot-heavy episode of Xena Warrior Princess.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 16, 2019

After a slew of wacky hijinks episodes with zany fun and kooky jokes, it's time to get sad. Xena takes us back to uncanny valley, aka centaur hell, and not even Callisto can make this better. The Dan Scroll is bleak, the episode itself is bleak, and, spoiler alert, Ally cries in this one. What a way to spend Chris's birthday!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 2, 2019

In a totally significant turn of events, Gabrielle finds herself writing her Xena fanfiction on an enchanted scroll! This episode channels some serious Amelia Bedelia energy as absolute hijinks ensue. Outsmarting the monkey's paw of a magic scroll sure is fun to think about, if not incredibly difficult to actually comprehend. Anyway... TO THE CAVES with you!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 19, 2019

Praise Hestia, it's a new episode! If season 2 was the good season, season 3 has got to be the NICE season. This episode gives us 3 Xenas, barely any Gabrielle, and a Joxer that fucks???? I'm sorry. We're still processing it ourselves.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 5, 2019

In this episode, Ally learns what a bottle episode is, Chris is flummoxed by the beauty of Gina Torres, and the concept of Xena Minus Xena is thoroughly explored. Ally also brings up an important point that she, Chris, and all of you listeners seemed to have overlooked with regard to the nature of the Xena Warrior Princess episode availability. Is Joxer’s last name The Mighty? Who’s that hanging up by their underwear? And where oh where can a girl find a Hot Topic in ancient Greece?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 21, 2019

Put a door around your wife's neck and backhand her across the face, because all is not well in The Debt part 2. Xena's basement is flooded, while Gabrielle's loyalty is not so much questioned as it is very poorly written. Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) returns to scratch Ally and Chris's noses, and everyone finally (FINALLY!!!!!) learns where the term 'warrior princess' comes from!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 
Jun 11, 2019

Join Chris and Ally and special guest Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) as they delve into the most sapphic episode of Xena to date. THE DEBT (part 1) sees our heroes travel from New Greeceland to Qin (pronounced Chin), which honestly just looks like a sepia New Greeceland that spilled some Pearl River Mart on itself. Xena is at her absolute surliest, which puts her in the perfect position to learn what it means to be soft and hard like the same time. We already told you, it's very sapphic. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 28, 2019

Dust off your goatees and wear a headband directly across your forehead, because Chris and Ally are talking about the mirrorverse, babey!!! The Hercules: The Legendary Journeys episode called Stranger in a Strange World (season 4, episode 5) features Lucy Lawless as Xena. However, she's not like any Xena we've seen before! With all those "cheap signifiers of harlotry", she's more Xena as Harley Quinn than Xena Warrior Princess.

The concept of the mirrorverse trope is explored, and it's not entirely clear whether a mirror Xena would have been born evil, turned good for a little while, and then ultimately decided that it wasn't for her. Join us, won't you, as we do our best to tolerate Kevin Sorbo, laugh at Ares, the god of love, and wonder why the mirror Aphrodite isn't the goddess of hate, but instead is just... a boring normal person dressed like a formal Starfleet officer on shore leave. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 23, 2019

In the midst of Passover, Easter AND 4/20, Chris and Ally get together to talk about the midst of Renee O'Connor. That is... Gabrielle's abs! Honestly there is just so much talk about fake baby tummies and real washboard tummies, but only because Dahak is apparently AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE RELIGION AND THIS IS TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH.

Will something finally come between Xena and Gabrielle? Will Xena break her rule of NOT KILLING THE BABIES? The third Moses story of Xena Warrior Princess TO DATE will answer all these questions and more, as well as give you a birth scene filmed exclusively in dutch angles. Also, please hire Chris and Ally to punch up your scripts. Please. They're so good.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 3, 2019

Chris and Ally have finally arrived at the Dahak arc, a dark and very drawn out period in the timeline of Xena Warrior Princess. But before we get too deep into messiahs and devils and the end of the world, they get to talk about Boudica, a historical female warrior who influenced the character of Xena and who actually existed in real life! 

And also Gabrielle gets impregnated by and/or with the spawn of a literal satan. Hooray! Welcome to Dahak Business!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 12, 2019

Loosely inspired by The Dirty Dozen, The Dirty Half Dozen gives us yet another story about bad guys teaming up to stop worse guys. Some radical bro gets his hands on some unbreakable, impenetrable metal and decides to just, like, take over the world. Six thousand decent kills later, Xena puts together a rag-tag group of scoundrels in order to stop him. During all of this, Gabrielle is also struggling with some pretty big "what ifs" about her friendship with Xena. Chris Sims and Allison Stock also struggle with what is arguably THE WORST conversation two people have ever had on this show so far. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 28, 2019

Hurry up and ditch Ned Ryerson, because we've finally made it to the groundhog day episode of Xena, Warrior Princess! In what is honestly one the best episodes we've seen so far, Been There, Done That finds Xena stuck in a time loop! Will she figure out what's got herreliving the same day over and over again, or will she be doomed to watch Joxer, Gabrielle and even Argo die for the rest of eternity? The episode was written by Hilary J. Bader, who has written in both the Star Trek and the DC Universe, and who is our new favorite person.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 13, 2019

Persecution or madness? I say, porque no los dos? In the season 3 premier (sort of), Xena gets a bad review and gets burdened with both (although the madness ends up being the real problem, because when is there NOT a bounty on Xena’s head somewhere). With whiplash-inducing tonal shifts, this episode can’t decide whether madness is funny or really scary and sad.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 29, 2019

Happy new year!! Chris and Ally are back and starting 2019 off strong! Special guest James D’Amato (@OneShotRPG), having somehow managed to actually watch the film, joins to talk about Hercules and Xena - The Animated Movie: The Battle for Mount Olympus, an film with incomprehensible stakes and a plot that could have been been solved with a single conversation. Some points brought up include the Jack Kirby-reminiscent character designs, Hanna-Barbera nostalgia, line weights(!!!!!), and the fact that Hercules doesn’t vote.

We are also joined by a stock photo of a smiling Chinese woman watching TV.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 11, 2018

Mere weeks after discussing the Xena XXX Porn Parody, Chris and Ally are flustered yet again with an unabashedly horny episode of Xena -- perhaps the horniest episode yet! Karl Urban's protruding wings and a suspiciously sentient baby kick off all kinds of hijinks. And at the end, your happy hosts offer a hearty HUZZAH (in ADR) to the end of season 2. Thanks for listening, guys. See you in 2019!

We watched Xena Warrior Business Season 2, episode 22: A COMEDY OF EROS

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 27, 2018

This episode makes Allison happy, because it's filled with boat stuff, and makes Chris aprehensive because boat stuff sounds a bit like... some other stuff, the likes of which we discussed in our latest Gabbysode. But in this episode, we get a pre-Pirates of the Caribbean story about cursed pirates, with so much nautical stuff to think of you barely notice that Xena's budget had completely run out. Also, Xena does her biggest flip of the entire series!

We watched Xena Warrior Business Season 2, episode 21: THE LOST MARINER.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 13, 2018

You guys. It's time. Carlos VonDracula and his asexual pal are finally ready to talk about XXXena, aka Xena XXX, aka, THE XENA PORN. With a runtime of 2 hours and 47 minutes, this porn parody has everything! Creaking leather! Butt stuff! Everyone keeping their shoes ON during sex! Chris and Allison also discuss the nature of porn itself, and their own ideas for Xena porn parodies. And yes, in case anyone was wondering, this episode IS explicit. Just remember: you guys asked for this!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 

Oct 16, 2018

Here's a nice, fun episode about nice, fun things: colonialism and PTSD! While Gabrielle is off discovering Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, Xena is reconnecting with her dark side. Special guest Marlene Thompson (@Marlene_Isabell) joins us to discover what happens when friends stop being friends and start being mean (and also racist).

We watched Xena Warrior Business Season 2, episode 20: THE PRICE.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Oct 2, 2018

This is the story of how Xena un-fucks the Odyssey. Aka, There And Back Again: A Ulysses Tale. Chris and Ally are joined by special guest, ancient greek historical expert and parent of the year DAN CASSINO (@dancassino)! That's right; he's decided to forgo the actual Dan Scrolls this time and just show up in person. Honestly, there's a lot Homer could have learned from Xena, and on this episode, we unpack it all! But basically, all you need to know going in is that you don't need a boat if you're already home!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 18, 2018

So this episode ended up being a bit of a snooze, so Chris and Ally invite special guest Javier Grillo-Marxuach (@OKBJGM) to talk about the Xena reboot that could have been! While trying not to get sidetracked into talking about Star Trek, we discuss mutual bathing, the complicated properties of Sumac, Xena as YOGURT (yep!), and how Xena Warrior Princess was a show for weird nerds before television started catering TO weird nerds. Bands are named and formed, papyrus is invented, and we also discuss why a crowded comic con is a GOOD comic con.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 5, 2018

This is Lucy Lawless's first episode of THE ENTIRE SEASON where she's back in fighting form, and special guest Amanda Meadows (@amandonium) joins us to celebrate the occasion. This episode brings back Gabby's old friend Meleager, but it also brings up a ton of timeline inconsistencies. When Meleager is sentenced to death by a messy bitch who lives for the drama aka a reputably fair judge, Xena and Gabrielle are faced with a dilemma. Gabrielle, who can see the good in people, is convinced that Meleager is innocent. However, Xena has Seen Some Shit, and is torn between trusting her instincts and trusting her friend.

CW: this episode includes some talk about alcoholism/addiction.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 7, 2018

Last episode gave us a day in the life of Xena and Gabrielle. This episode gave us a day in the life... of Joxer, canon incel and total dweeb. At least until a bell rings, turning him into either Danny Kaye, Errol Flynn, or Handsome Squidward from that episode when he got hit in the face and got really handsome. We're still figuring it out. Special guest Rebecca Reuland (@Cmmndrshepard) joins us to bear witness the debut of the COMPLETE Joxer theme song, which we've only heard in snatches until now. We also get APHRODITE, who is like, TOTALLY awesome. And Karl Urban is also here, because where else would be be?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 24, 2018

From fangirl to beloved wife, Gabrielle has gone through a considerable glow-up. This Valentine's Day episode does exactly what it says on the tin, documenting just a normal day in the life of living with a living legent, aka, domestic bliss with Xena and Gabrielle, two married wives who love each other. Special guest Ally Brinken (@AllyBrinken) returns as we ask if it's really possible to cook with Xena's juices and make fun of Gabrielle's very obvious praise kink. Pour one out for Gabrielle's frying pan, though. We'll be talking about Season 2, Episode 15 of Xena Warrior Princess: A Day in the Life, which is arguably one of the best episodes of the entire show!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 10, 2018

What's better than an immortal god who hates you? TWO immortal gods who hates you! Hope you like low-budget mysticism, because this episode is full of it! Chris and Ally are joined by special guest Sheila Villari (@KittinExploits) to find out why, exactly, the Amazons don't throw parades. With Lucy Lawless still recovering from an injury, we that screentime's gotta go somewhere! Callisto is immortal (which happens on Hercules, so nobody really cares), but more importantly, Velaska survived and got herself some of that boob jello, too! Now she's the goddess of pickles. Yep. Join us as we dive into Necessary Evil, a necessary episode of Xena Warrior Princess that we have to talk about, I guess.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 27, 2018

Show's over, folks. Xena, the warrior princess, is dead. We are joined by special guest James D'Amato (@OneShotRPG), a noted fan of kissing. He brings with him the spirit of gaming as we discuss the D&D-friendly themes that appear on the show, and in this particular episode. Autolycus, the king of thieves, shows up, channeling the spirit of Xena, while Gabrielle channels the spirit of a dom. We also discuss what our coffinsonas would look like. Coffins that look exactly like us, that is. Let go and hold on, listeners, because when the lips are lockin', don't come a knockin'!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 12, 2018

There's a ton of firsts in this episode! The first time Xena was crucified, the first time Xena DIES and THE FIRST TIME XENA USED THE PINCH!! It also marks the first appearance of baby Karl Urban's 2nd role on the show... Julius Caesar! Special guest Shannon Manor (@shannonmanor) joins us to watch this fever dream unfold, where the focus turns from mythology to actual history, because apparently Julius Caesar really was ransomed by pirates, who he really did crucify afterwards. Buckle the f**k up, Hades. The ripples of Lucy Lawless's broken pelvis are still felt in this episode, and we are also FINALLY able to pin down exactly when in history Xena Warrior Princess actually takes place!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 30, 2018

Coming down from Chris's favorite episode of Xena, we now have the episode that Chris was dreading the most! The mainstream media didn't really know the difference between being trans and doing drag, so we're going to do our best to clarify! Special guest Ashley Rogers (@LucretiaDear4) us to discuss the history of drag and the safe space it presented for the trans community in the 90s... but we also spend plenty of time making fun of some very unfortunate ribbon twirling.

"If she fucked that snake, I would have binged the season!" -Ashley

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 15, 2018

We’re perpetuating the war on Christmas by skipping A Solstice Carol (because we already talked about it last year) and jumping right into The Xena Scrolls, Chris’s ultimate favorite episode of Xena Warrior Princess! Special guest Annie Craton (@anniezard) returns to help us figure out if this episode is an actual clip show, or just a show with clips. But whatever it is, we know it DID inspire the entire concept of uber fic. And has Ally finally found a replacement for her Lymond obsession? FIND OUT NOW!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 2, 2018

When Lucy Lawless fell off a horse, Hudson Leick took the reins! That's right, it's a Xena in Callisto's body episode, where we learn that the opposite of war isn't peace: it's losing your goddamn mind and starting a brawl over some discounted fishcakes. We are joined by special guest Alex Vernon, who once made her own Xena costume! Also... exactly what is the worthless piece of a centaur?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 18, 2018

Chris and Ally are joined by special guest Ashley Anderson, who knows more about Xena Warrior Princess than any of you. Xena and Callisto have switched bodies and Joxer's getting into shibari, so it's tropes all around! Callisto's trying to make good on her promise to kill everything Xena loves (even her horse), Gabrielle is insightful as always, and Hudson Leick certainly does attempt the warcry. She sure tries.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 3, 2018

This episode features not one, not two, but THREE Lucys Lawless. Special guest Susana Polo (@NerdGerhl) helps Chris and Ally identify who is the polite one, who is the slutty one, and who is the one who can do flips. Some new evidence is brought to the table in the great debate about Gabrielle's hair color, some more important ancient greeks get shafted for the sake of a syndicated television show, and the Xena foley artists truly earn their keep.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 30, 2018

Just what the internet needs - a man explaining some nerdy thing to a woman. Ally hasn't been too keen on comics lately. Fortunately, Chris knows a lot about comics! In this patreon-funded bonus episode, Chris tells Ally about The Marriage of Hercules and Xena. YUP! It's a thing. Try not to cringe too hard.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness
 
Mar 21, 2018

Hudson Leick and her outie are back for this iconic episode: The Return of Callisto! But have you heardicus? Guess who’s ALSO back: It’s Perdicus! It’s reunions left and right here as Gabrielle, uh, marries her old boyfriend??? We learn that if you give a Greg an inch, he’ll Greg up a whole mile. But what is a Greg? Why, it’s what we call the one-off, disposable love interests used as the wedge that politically correct 90s television just loved to jam between Xena and Gabrielle. And who better to join us for this ultimate Gregisode than the original Greg himself: Greg Musselman (@Eurogerg), who, as a martial artist, has actually seen the pinch done in real life! We also have some thoughts on Joxer’s relationship with THE FRIEND ZONE, because why not.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 7, 2018

There are no New Zealand actors on Black Sails (that we know of), but that doesn’t stop us from having Daphne Olive (@daphneolive) as our guest! In this episode, we learn that you don’t have to become a lesbian if you already ARE a lesbian. Bacchus/Dionysus is the myth du jour, and between coding, the social climate of the late 90s, and men controlling the narrative of women’s sexuality, there’s a lot to unpack. There's also some glorious 90s trip hop, as Daphne relives her 20s and Ally relives her days in the Matrix fandom. But mostly, it's just us rolling our eyes at the old dated belief that the gas are out to convert the straights.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 21, 2018

Psst. We heard that Jonathan had an 8 pack... that Jonathan was shredded. Oh, don't you remember Jonathan, the biblical hero of the, um, uh... children of Abraham? No? Well, you probably think giants don't exist either! That they're just taller-than-average dudes in some nice armor. Bet you didn't know about ARISTOTLE'S DEATH RAY either! Ally and Chris are joined once again by Kel McDonald (@kelhound) to psalmsplain this biblical episode and talk about everyone's favorite subject: religion!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 6, 2018

Join us, folks, as Xena Warrior Business crosses over the line into the dark web! From Capoeira ruffians to Ally schooling two grown men on Renaissance Faire style clothing, if you love women chanting in the fields, this is the episode for you! Special guest David Isaac (@DCDariusknight) joins us as Xena gives up being a warrior for the sake of a dead brother, and offers up a brand new way to pronounce the warrior princess's name!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 16, 2018

Vacation's over, pals, and we're back with everything you've been waiting for: MORE CENTAURS!! And yet another barely-adequate child actor who's appeared on The Tribe. Stephen Gaulin (@StephenGaulin) returns to help us as we kick back, relax, brush up on our horse anatomy, and prepare to get stoned. IXION stoned, that is! If you think giving birth to a baby ends once the baby is out, THINK AGAIN.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 27, 2017
Well, the holiday season is upon is, so Chris and Ally have decided to watch and discuss the only Christmas-y episode there is of Hercules the Legendary Journeys. The episode is called 'A Star to Guide Them,' and honestly? It sucks. But Chris explains some more to Ally about the story of Christmas ("Listen... there's a lot of baby roundups going on."), geography is considered, styrofoam props are reused, and honestly... what is the deal with those three guys who GOTTA GO NORTH? It's probably the most passive Hercules has ever been, and the struggle is real. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!! And remember - Kevin Sorbo is still an ignorant antisemite!
 
Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness
 
Dec 6, 2017

Well, we finally made it. It's the end of season 1, where Chris and Ally learn that you're never REALLY friends until you've both died in each other's arms. This episode has some wonderful highs, tempered by some pretty heinous lows. There's also a human woman giving birth to a centaur child, aka GIVING BIRTH TO A HORSE. There's also a post mortem on season 1, where we ask the big question: IS SEASON 1 EVEN WORTH WATCHING? There is also an original song featured at the end of this episode!!! Yes!!! It's true!!!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 14, 2017

This episode swaps Xena's dark past with a merely plaintive one as we get a fairly underwhelming origin story and a fairly underwhelming SECOND brother for Xena to play off of for a single episode. Chris and Ally are joined by Kelsey Buckmaster, who has never caught an arrow mid-flight but HAS shot one in half. She also shares some pretty fascinating and wholly unexpected (seriously, you'll never be able to guess!) information on actor Joseph Kell. But also, is "drumstick" a euphemism for being gay and liking dick? Please, someone tell us. Is this really a thing? Join us as we discuss Season 1 Episode 23 of Xena Warrior Princess: DEATH MASK.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 1, 2017

WELP. It's official. This show is officially good. Three killer episodes IN! A! ROW! Finally, we get a watershed moment for Xena coming to terms with her guilt over her [kiwi accent] dark past [/kiwi accent]. Finally, we get... CALLISTO. Chris and Ally (Yes, you read that right - Chris is back!) are joined by special guest Alastair Stephens (@paperbullets) to discuss ladders and why we need them, opposition and why it is a powerful theme, and farm jail. Oh, and Joxer shows up, too!

STAY TUNED at the end of the episode for a brand new ORIGINAL SONG recapping the episode, written and performed by Allison Stock.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Oct 17, 2017

So I heard you liked Xena podcasts, so we took your Xena podcast and we put a Xena podcast on your Xena podcast. That's right, Allison is joined by Katie, Livy and Vera from XENA WARRIOR PODCAST!!! Two podcasts, both alike in dignity, in fair New Greeceland where we lay our scene. Both Xena Warrior Business and Xena Warrior Podcast started at around the same time, and we felt it was appropriate for our powers to combine for this 

In the immortal words of Stefon: this podcast has got EVERYTHING: laughter! lord seltzer! swapping bodies with a chicken! tobias menzies! all 3 different hair colors on gabrielle! cheekbones! mystery abs! xena's first time dying on screen! a new underdress for xena! did we mention LORD SELTZER!!! It's a CAN'T MISS episode for anyone who's ever wanted to listen to a Xena podcast but weren't sure where to start. But whatever you do, don't forget: XENA DID IT FIRST!

Katie (@katetocci), Vera (@hollywoodgrrl) and Livy (@ponderouslivy) run a Xena podcast of their own (@XenaWarriorPod). Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 27, 2017

In a special Marvel edition of the podcast, Ally is joined by Laura Kammerman (laurizzlek) and Andrea Towers (_atowers), her friends from work! The women of marvel (not sponsored by Women of Marvel) talk about how Xena was challenging gender roles in the nineties, and things get personal when it comes to abandonment, self confidence, and relating to Xena as a strong and powerful woman. You better believe that Xena is more than just a "strong female character" trope on legs. Also, both of this episode's guests have been touched by greatness, as they have met both Hudson Leick (Callisto) and Lucky goddamn Lawless herself. Tune in to hear all the juicy details!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 13, 2017

This is an episode of firsts for Xena. It is the first interpretation of a bible story (oh boy). It is the first time Xena and Gabrielle bathe together. It is the first (and last) time we hear anyone talk about how much kids love nut bread. It is also the first appearance of Karl Urban, this show's most prolific guest actor, in his least memorable role as Farmer With The Heart of Coal. We are joined by Kit Walker (@inferiorwit) the prolific podcast host who unfortunately has a lot of Chris and Ally's JAR BUSINESS to put up with. Nevertheless, Karl Urban is finally here, and so now the show can finally get on with being the Xena Warrior Princess that we all know and love. Oh, and also Gabrielle can talk to rocks. This episode makes it canon. IT IS REAL!!! And then Lymond gets a headache.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Sep 4, 2017
It's our second Gabbysode, where we tackle the world of Xenaphemera that exists outside of the actual show. After former guest Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) mentioned the concept, Chris and Allison decided to figure out a little more about Uberfic. The concept, inspired by the Xena episode THE XENA SCROLLS, imagines Xena and Gabrielle reincarnated throughout time, space and even species! If you ever wanted to see what Xena and Gabrielle would be like as a businesswoman and a ghost, or as a firefighter and a trailer park resident, or TREES, then Uberfic might be for you! AU fanfiction (Alternate Universe) is also discussed, along with tropes, personal preference, and whether or not Uberfic is actually canon!
 
Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness
 
Aug 29, 2017

It's Home Alone IV: Lost in New Greeceland! Vegetarians beware, because Ally has some beef on this Gabrielle-centric episode of Xena. We learn what "Gabby Style!" entails, and, spoiler alert, it's just hitting dudes in the crotch with sticks. For this episode, Chris and Ally got themselves and actual Irishman, Nathan Stockman (@stockmannate), an authority on red hair, to set the record straight once and for all on Gabrielle's hair color. But most important of all: my kingdom for a coverage tree!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 15, 2017

He wears green, he steals things, he's Robin Hood with a Greek name: AUTOLYCUS IS HERE! Lovingly portrayed by Bruce Campbell, the King of thieves breathes life into this wonderful episode with his first appearance on Xena Warrior Princess. Bonus points go to our special guest, Chad Bowers (@ChadBowers), who had two sleeping children and still managed to yodel at least six times for us. This episode contains a really good villain, a deep dive into how people got in touch before phones were invented, Allison discovering what innuendo is, lots of dumpy hats, and a dude getting lightsaber'd through the chest with a fireball. It's Season 1 Episode 17 of Xena: The Royal Couple of Thieves, and by the way, did Xena invent rock candy?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 1, 2017

Of all the episodes to turn upsettingly horny, Chris didn’t think this was going to be the one. Oh, well. This episode marks a return of Marcus, Xena's road not taken. Xena sees firsthand the repercussions of a life of wickedness, and that her acts of good might not actually be enough to redeem her. Also, Hades has a dog skin helmet of invisibility. We're joined by Annie Craton (@anniezard) of podcasts The Jem Jam and I Will Fight You.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 19, 2017

Xena has many skills. Xena also has many twins. This episode introduces the first of many dopplegangers to come, with the unexpected added bonus of a side-Greg to Greg things up. Chris and Allison learn about the history of bread and cheese as a meal, along with how to be a convincing Xena (stop crying). There's a fountain phallus, there's some stuff about horses' tails, and there's the softest molotov cocktail you'll ever see. We are joined by Sailor Business all-star guest, Artlee King Vasquez (@theonlyartlee), who is a champion of humor and insight, and who refuses to take shit from both Xena Warrior Princess AND Xena Warrior Business.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jul 5, 2017

If ever there was a time to google Ambrosia Salad, now, dear listeners, is that time. Here's a question: if New Zealand is an Island, and that Island has treature on it, and Thirst Trap, Log Lady, and Tummy Palace go on a treasure hunt on New Zealand, is this episode based on Treasure Island?? Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) joins us, bringing her expertise of Ye Olde 90's-and-early-oughts Internet, as well as a prior knowledge of having VISITED WHOOSH DOT ORG!!! Uber fic, Forever Knight and Due South are discussed, many beaded curtains are parted and walked through, and Allison finally gets sick of a joke! Search your memory tummy for clues!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 

Jun 29, 2017
Saddle up, listeners! It's time for our very first Gabbysode, where we tackle the world of Xenaphemera that exists outside the actual show. This time, by popular request, Chris and Allison are doing a deep dive into a popular piece of Xena erotic fan-fiction, but also talking about the importance of fanfic to XWP fandom and fandom at large, as well as the impact it's had on their own lives. Tune in for all that, plus a discussion of what might be the worst possible lube we've ever even heard of!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 

 
Jun 21, 2017

Chrisicus Allisonyus, the expert critic, discusses the nature of television in those wild, syndicated, pre-streaming, pre-binging years. While network shows got regular runs and regular timeslots, syndicated television was like the wild west: unpredictable, and needing a clip show to catch viewers up to what they might have missed. We ask deep questions, like: What could Xena have done to improve the storyline if she'd been allowed to actually participate in this episode? Was Homer rushing, or was he dragging? But more importantly, is Gabrielle actually good at storytelling? The answers may surprise you! We are joined by actual bard Matt D. Wilson (@TheMattDWilson) of War Rocket Ajax and Movie Fighters podcasts. Also, this episode broke Dan Cassino! He just couldn't even.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 

Jun 6, 2017

This week on Captive Princeness (that's Prince Business, not Princess), Chris Sims, the Prince of Podcasting, is stripped of his title, left for dead, and sent to cohost a Xena podcast with Allison Stock, the small, angry, blonde one. Actually, it's another lackluster season 1 episode of Xena. This episode has everything! Facts about comic book writers writing for 90s TV! The return of sounds courtesy of Tom's Xena Page! And let's face it, the moment you've all been waiting for: THE RETURN OF PERDICAS A.K.A. GREG!!!!!! We are also joined by self proclaimed Season 1 apologist Steve Gaulin (@ehsteve88)!!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 

May 24, 2017

Hello, my friends! We've got a very special episode in store for you tonight! Join us as we discuss a rare, never-before seen episode of Xena, Warrior Princess, entitled Chris [Sims] Gets Married.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 10, 2017

In their discussion of this very forgettable but actually pretty good episode, Chris mistakes Allison (a library of Alexandria truther) for a flat earther! Anyway... you've grown legendary! Join us to analyze this very roomy dungeon filled with very thirsty bisexuals, where justice is dealt unto those who make rape jokes swiftly and by sword-wielding ninjas. We get to meet some characters from Xena's dark past--actually, no, wait, Xena's rather nice past, actually. Also... what’s up with Gabrielle’s shitty, shitty hat? We're joined by by New Zealand accent aficionado James D’Amato (@OneShotRPG) of Campaign and the One Shot Podcast.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

 

Apr 26, 2017

Hey Amazon, wanna go for a ride? We're finally in double digits all around, friends, so you know what that means. Time for Chris and Allison to behold a TRIUMPH of special effects artistry, a horse... that's also a dude. We've got a rectangle wrapped in hair (a centaur), the word of the day (tatty), and maybe the worst facial hair in the history of television. Anyway, they're women, they're horses, they're centaurs, they're men: YOU GET IT! We're joined by special guest Emma Lawson (@emmalawson), a librarian and fellow ComicAlliance friend! 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 11, 2017

If ever you needed a reminder that Chris and Ally are still slogging through season one, Gabrielle throws herself at yet another shitty Greg in the second episode in a row featuring a deity chained up somewhere. Only this time, instead of resulting in everyone's untimely death, now NOBODY can die. Their levels of pain and suffering may vary, but one fact remains: that this episode should probably have been called Death in CHAIR. So, come. Sit. Enjoy a sumptuous feast of earthly delights.

We are joined by Elle Collins (@AnotherElle)!!! An expert in podcasting, they raise interesting points (queer people love Xena!) and ask tough questions (does Xena actually have super powers??). Elle, you remain the best.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 29, 2017

It's the crossover you demanded--or at least, somebody demanded it and we know it wasn't us--as Hercules and Iolaus join up with Xena and Gabrielle for an adventure of... TITANIC proportions. Get it? GET IT? 

That's right, everyone, Xena and Hercules have to rescue Prometheus, and along the way, Kel McDonald (@kellhound) joins us to talk about Gabby's role as a consolation prize in the show's least believable romance, sexy oracles that look like Artemis from IASIP, and Xena's greatest challenge: Twitter Eggs! Plus, you'll find out what ABDL means, because if we have to know it, so do you.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 15, 2017

Good Morning! Good Night! Athens! Make sure you're pronouncing that correctly so that you can wake up the newest episode of Xena Warrior Business! Christa Rodriguez (@PaleAngelLex) joins Allison and Chris for Xena Season 1, Episode 7: "The Titans," featuring a plot in which Gabrielle's virginity is literally more important than the person the show is named for.  Listen in as we discuss the slow evolution of the characters into what they're meant to be and introduce our readers to the Sensational Character Find of 2017: Crystal Rose of Athens! Also, please be sure to let us know if our new segment - Xena's ASMR Corner - ticks all your boxes with regards to that special tingly ASMR feeling!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 1, 2017

Get ready for a landmark episode, as we watch the first appearance of Ares! Well, not the FIRST first appearance, but... Listen, it's complicated, and not just because we're trying to figure out why the God of War has such a terrible goatee. Xena is framed for a crime she didn't commit, and might just end up being punished for crimes she DID commit instead? Special guest Ally Brinken (@AllyBrinken) joins us as Gabrielle goes full Phoenix Wright for "The Reckoning!" 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 14, 2017

We took the road less traveled by...but we just couldn't cut it!! This week, special guest Lucas Brown (@lokified) joins us to talk about The Path Not Taken, aka: 'Gyna on the Roof, aka The Princess Bride But Boring, an episode of Xena Warrior Princess that must have been a spec script that they just... felt like shooting, for some reason.  There's a sex joke in the first minute, though. Also, Allison had to cut about an hour of her ranting about a certain figure skating anime from this episode so as not to give you three hours of content to listen to, oh boy.

Be sure to keep listening after our sign-off for a special segment, courtesy of Lucas Brown. On his podcast, The Math of You, he creates cocktails inspired by his guests. He blessed us with not one but TWO cocktails inspired by the episode of Xena we all discussed together. Recipes are as follows:

The Red-Headed Bard

Sweet, bubbly and always ready for adventure, and befits the Battling Bard of Potidaea.

  • 1/2oz vodka
  • 1/2oz ouzo
  • 1oz creme de cassis
  • 2oz lemon-lime soda

Combine vodka, ouzo and cassis in a shaker of ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a cocktail glass and top up with lemon-lime soda.

B-Side: The Argo

Kicks like a goddamn horse. Keep it handy if you need to blow fire at someone to make them give up.

  • 1oz vodka
  • 1oz brandy
  • 1oz bourbon
  • 1/2oz ouzo
  • 1oz orange juice
  • 2oz lemon-lime soda

Combine orange juice, vodka, brandy, bourbon and ouzo in a shaker of ice and shake vigorously. Strain into a cocktail glass and top up with lemon-lime soda. Consume... carefully.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 1, 2017

This week, special guest Elisabeth Dubois (@elisedubois) joins us to talk about Cradle of Hope, an episode that is shockingly not about the baby Gabrielle's going to have with a Lovecraftian Elder God in season 3. Uh, spoiler warning, I guess? Instead, we get a half-assed take on the Secret Origin of Moses, with Pandora and her box thrown in for good measure.

Plus, we debut a new segment: "The Dan Scrolls," in which former guest Dan Cassino (@dancassino) tells us all about the actual history and mythology that Xena brushes up against, none of which actually appears in the episode.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 17, 2017

Were you ever confused about the definition of a breast dagger and/or the appropriate time to use one? Have you ever been wracked with guilt over the lasting damage caused by throwing a rock into a river? Have you ever wondered if facing off against your evil past-self would mean actually fighting yourself or just your own stunt double? Have you ever needed to report a dead highwayman, but just didn't know how? Did you ever want to know just how historically accurate Xena Warrior Princess was? Well, Chris and Allison are joined by special guest Dan Cassino (@dancassino) to answer these questions and many more on this latest episode of Xena Warrior Business, which focuses on Xena Warrior princess episode 3: Dreamworker.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 3, 2017

Chris and Allison are back on track with Xena Warrior Princess episode 2: Chariots of War, an episode that contains no war and barely any chariots. Also, it's really....... straight. Straight as an arrow. Heterosexual to the max. It's weird. Listen in as we’re joined by special guest Erin Hunter (@peachkinn) to talk about this very, very hetero episode.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 20, 2016

Chris and Allison have traveled to Xena's FUTURE!!! That is, to Season 2, episode 9: A Solstice Carol. Listen, if Xena: Warrior Princess the SHOW can travel through time (spoiler alert: it does. a lot.) then so can Xena Warrior Business the PODCAST. Continuity will have to wait, because Solstice night is almost here!! The show runners didn't know how long they had left, so they decided to cram not one not two but FOUR CHRISTMAS STORIES into one episode!! Put a chakram on your tree because it's snowing in New Zealand! Listen in as we’re joined by special guest Tana Ford (@tanaford) to talk about what it was like to watch Xena while growing into your adolescence.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 6, 2016

After getting through her appearances on Hercules, Chris and Allison have finally arrived at the very first episode of Xena: Warrior Princess! Listen in as we’re joined by special guest Jordan D. White to talk about the barely-subtextual text of Gabrielle, the controversy surrounding Argo’s first appearance, and why the show should actually be called Xena: Warrior Tavern Heiress

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 6, 2016

Chris and Allison begin their odyssey back to a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings, when a land in turmoil cried out for a hero – but before we get to all that, we’ve got to get through the three episodes of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys that introduced us to our favorite Warrior Princess. Listen in as we go through Netflix histories, crush on Callisto, and start in on a mighty podcast forged in the heat of battle! 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

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