This episode exists, for some reason, but Chris and Ally aren't really sure why. It hits all the emotional beats of a good episode of Xena, but its place in the timeline makes it feel downright vestigial. Also, is it finally time to cancel Hercules?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Y'all ready for some Tarot business or what? Xena and Gabrielle's rift has come to a head, things can't possibly get any worse, so the only way out is through. Through SONG, that is! Ally and Chris never dreamed that they'd be distanced by a mutual love and appreciation for THE BITTER SUITE, the iconic musical and very tarot-heavy episode of Xena Warrior Princess.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

After a slew of wacky hijinks episodes with zany fun and kooky jokes, it's time to get sad. Xena takes us back to uncanny valley, aka centaur hell, and not even Callisto can make this better. The Dan Scroll is bleak, the episode itself is bleak, and, spoiler alert, Ally cries in this one. What a way to spend Chris's birthday!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

In a totally significant turn of events, Gabrielle finds herself writing her Xena fanfiction on an enchanted scroll! This episode channels some serious Amelia Bedelia energy as absolute hijinks ensue. Outsmarting the monkey's paw of a magic scroll sure is fun to think about, if not incredibly difficult to actually comprehend. Anyway... TO THE CAVES with you!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Praise Hestia, it's a new episode! If season 2 was the good season, season 3 has got to be the NICE season. This episode gives us 3 Xenas, barely any Gabrielle, and a Joxer that fucks???? I'm sorry. We're still processing it ourselves.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

In this episode, Ally learns what a bottle episode is, Chris is flummoxed by the beauty of Gina Torres, and the concept of Xena Minus Xena is thoroughly explored. Ally also brings up an important point that she, Chris, and all of you listeners seemed to have overlooked with regard to the nature of the Xena Warrior Princess episode availability. Is Joxer’s last name The Mighty? Who’s that hanging up by their underwear? And where oh where can a girl find a Hot Topic in ancient Greece?

Put a door around your wife's neck and backhand her across the face, because all is not well in The Debt part 2. Xena's basement is flooded, while Gabrielle's loyalty is not so much questioned as it is very poorly written. Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) returns to scratch Ally and Chris's noses, and everyone finally (FINALLY!!!!!) learns where the term 'warrior princess' comes from!

Join Chris and Ally and special guest Cathy Leamy (@metrokitty) as they delve into the most sapphic episode of Xena to date. THE DEBT (part 1) sees our heroes travel from New Greeceland to Qin (pronounced Chin), which honestly just looks like a sepia New Greeceland that spilled some Pearl River Mart on itself. Xena is at her absolute surliest, which puts her in the perfect position to learn what it means to be soft and hard like the same time. We already told you, it's very sapphic. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dust off your goatees and wear a headband directly across your forehead, because Chris and Ally are talking about the mirrorverse, babey!!! The Hercules: The Legendary Journeys episode called Stranger in a Strange World (season 4, episode 5) features Lucy Lawless as Xena. However, she's not like any Xena we've seen before! With all those "cheap signifiers of harlotry", she's more Xena as Harley Quinn than Xena Warrior Princess.

The concept of the mirrorverse trope is explored, and it's not entirely clear whether a mirror Xena would have been born evil, turned good for a little while, and then ultimately decided that it wasn't for her. Join us, won't you, as we do our best to tolerate Kevin Sorbo, laugh at Ares, the god of love, and wonder why the mirror Aphrodite isn't the goddess of hate, but instead is just... a boring normal person dressed like a formal Starfleet officer on shore leave. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

In the midst of Passover, Easter AND 4/20, Chris and Ally get together to talk about the midst of Renee O'Connor. That is... Gabrielle's abs! Honestly there is just so much talk about fake baby tummies and real washboard tummies, but only because Dahak is apparently AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE RELIGION AND THIS IS TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH.

Will something finally come between Xena and Gabrielle? Will Xena break her rule of NOT KILLING THE BABIES? The third Moses story of Xena Warrior Princess TO DATE will answer all these questions and more, as well as give you a birth scene filmed exclusively in dutch angles. Also, please hire Chris and Ally to punch up your scripts. Please. They're so good.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Chris and Ally have finally arrived at the Dahak arc, a dark and very drawn out period in the timeline of Xena Warrior Princess. But before we get too deep into messiahs and devils and the end of the world, they get to talk about Boudica, a historical female warrior who influenced the character of Xena and who actually existed in real life! 

And also Gabrielle gets impregnated by and/or with the spawn of a literal satan. Hooray! Welcome to Dahak Business!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Loosely inspired by The Dirty Dozen, The Dirty Half Dozen gives us yet another story about bad guys teaming up to stop worse guys. Some radical bro gets his hands on some unbreakable, impenetrable metal and decides to just, like, take over the world. Six thousand decent kills later, Xena puts together a rag-tag group of scoundrels in order to stop him. During all of this, Gabrielle is also struggling with some pretty big "what ifs" about her friendship with Xena. Chris Sims and Allison Stock also struggle with what is arguably THE WORST conversation two people have ever had on this show so far. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Hurry up and ditch Ned Ryerson, because we've finally made it to the groundhog day episode of Xena, Warrior Princess! In what is honestly one the best episodes we've seen so far, Been There, Done That finds Xena stuck in a time loop! Will she figure out what's got herreliving the same day over and over again, or will she be doomed to watch Joxer, Gabrielle and even Argo die for the rest of eternity? The episode was written by Hilary J. Bader, who has written in both the Star Trek and the DC Universe, and who is our new favorite person.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Persecution or madness? I say, porque no los dos? In the season 3 premier (sort of), Xena gets a bad review and gets burdened with both (although the madness ends up being the real problem, because when is there NOT a bounty on Xena’s head somewhere). With whiplash-inducing tonal shifts, this episode can’t decide whether madness is funny or really scary and sad.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Happy new year!! Chris and Ally are back and starting 2019 off strong! Special guest James D’Amato (@OneShotRPG), having somehow managed to actually watch the film, joins to talk about Hercules and Xena - The Animated Movie: The Battle for Mount Olympus, an film with incomprehensible stakes and a plot that could have been been solved with a single conversation. Some points brought up include the Jack Kirby-reminiscent character designs, Hanna-Barbera nostalgia, line weights(!!!!!), and the fact that Hercules doesn’t vote.

We are also joined by a stock photo of a smiling Chinese woman watching TV.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mere weeks after discussing the Xena XXX Porn Parody, Chris and Ally are flustered yet again with an unabashedly horny episode of Xena -- perhaps the horniest episode yet! Karl Urban's protruding wings and a suspiciously sentient baby kick off all kinds of hijinks. And at the end, your happy hosts offer a hearty HUZZAH (in ADR) to the end of season 2. Thanks for listening, guys. See you in 2019!

We watched Xena Warrior Business Season 2, episode 22: A COMEDY OF EROS

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

This episode makes Allison happy, because it's filled with boat stuff, and makes Chris aprehensive because boat stuff sounds a bit like... some other stuff, the likes of which we discussed in our latest Gabbysode. But in this episode, we get a pre-Pirates of the Caribbean story about cursed pirates, with so much nautical stuff to think of you barely notice that Xena's budget had completely run out. Also, Xena does her biggest flip of the entire series!

We watched Xena Warrior Business Season 2, episode 21: THE LOST MARINER.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

You guys. It's time. Carlos VonDracula and his asexual pal are finally ready to talk about XXXena, aka Xena XXX, aka, THE XENA PORN. With a runtime of 2 hours and 47 minutes, this porn parody has everything! Creaking leather! Butt stuff! Everyone keeping their shoes ON during sex! Chris and Allison also discuss the nature of porn itself, and their own ideas for Xena porn parodies. And yes, in case anyone was wondering, this episode IS explicit. Just remember: you guys asked for this!

Here's a nice, fun episode about nice, fun things: colonialism and PTSD! While Gabrielle is off discovering Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, Xena is reconnecting with her dark side. Special guest Marlene Thompson (@Marlene_Isabell) joins us to discover what happens when friends stop being friends and start being mean (and also racist).

We watched Xena Warrior Business Season 2, episode 20: THE PRICE.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

This is the story of how Xena un-fucks the Odyssey. Aka, There And Back Again: A Ulysses Tale. Chris and Ally are joined by special guest, ancient greek historical expert and parent of the year DAN CASSINO (@dancassino)! That's right; he's decided to forgo the actual Dan Scrolls this time and just show up in person. Honestly, there's a lot Homer could have learned from Xena, and on this episode, we unpack it all! But basically, all you need to know going in is that you don't need a boat if you're already home!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

So this episode ended up being a bit of a snooze, so Chris and Ally invite special guest Javier Grillo-Marxuach (@OKBJGM) to talk about the Xena reboot that could have been! While trying not to get sidetracked into talking about Star Trek, we discuss mutual bathing, the complicated properties of Sumac, Xena as YOGURT (yep!), and how Xena Warrior Princess was a show for weird nerds before television started catering TO weird nerds. Bands are named and formed, papyrus is invented, and we also discuss why a crowded comic con is a GOOD comic con.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

This is Lucy Lawless's first episode of THE ENTIRE SEASON where she's back in fighting form, and special guest Amanda Meadows (@amandonium) joins us to celebrate the occasion. This episode brings back Gabby's old friend Meleager, but it also brings up a ton of timeline inconsistencies. When Meleager is sentenced to death by a messy bitch who lives for the drama aka a reputably fair judge, Xena and Gabrielle are faced with a dilemma. Gabrielle, who can see the good in people, is convinced that Meleager is innocent. However, Xena has Seen Some Shit, and is torn between trusting her instincts and trusting her friend.

CW: this episode includes some talk about alcoholism/addiction.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Last episode gave us a day in the life of Xena and Gabrielle. This episode gave us a day in the life... of Joxer, canon incel and total dweeb. At least until a bell rings, turning him into either Danny Kaye, Errol Flynn, or Handsome Squidward from that episode when he got hit in the face and got really handsome. We're still figuring it out. Special guest Rebecca Reuland (@Cmmndrshepard) joins us to bear witness the debut of the COMPLETE Joxer theme song, which we've only heard in snatches until now. We also get APHRODITE, who is like, TOTALLY awesome. And Karl Urban is also here, because where else would be be?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

From fangirl to beloved wife, Gabrielle has gone through a considerable glow-up. This Valentine's Day episode does exactly what it says on the tin, documenting just a normal day in the life of living with a living legent, aka, domestic bliss with Xena and Gabrielle, two married wives who love each other. Special guest Ally Brinken (@AllyBrinken) returns as we ask if it's really possible to cook with Xena's juices and make fun of Gabrielle's very obvious praise kink. Pour one out for Gabrielle's frying pan, though. We'll be talking about Season 2, Episode 15 of Xena Warrior Princess: A Day in the Life, which is arguably one of the best episodes of the entire show!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

What's better than an immortal god who hates you? TWO immortal gods who hates you! Hope you like low-budget mysticism, because this episode is full of it! Chris and Ally are joined by special guest Sheila Villari (@KittinExploits) to find out why, exactly, the Amazons don't throw parades. With Lucy Lawless still recovering from an injury, we that screentime's gotta go somewhere! Callisto is immortal (which happens on Hercules, so nobody really cares), but more importantly, Velaska survived and got herself some of that boob jello, too! Now she's the goddess of pickles. Yep. Join us as we dive into Necessary Evil, a necessary episode of Xena Warrior Princess that we have to talk about, I guess.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness