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Xena Warrior Business

A mighty podcast forged in the heat of conversation. Xena Warrior Princess fans Chris Sims and Allison Stock and the occasional guest convene every other week to watch every episode of the iconic nineties show and analyze what made it so endearing. The power, the passion, the danger... this podcast will change the world.
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Xena Warrior Business
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Jun 24, 2022

Xena punches her way out of her own coffin only to find out that she and Gabrielle have been dead for 25 years… and that her baby daughter Eve grew up to become the greatest warlord the world has ever seen. It is the distant future (the distant future) and Xena’s really stepped in it this time!

We talk about Xena Warrior Princess Season 5 Episode 20: Livia

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 10, 2022

What happens when the person you love has changed so much that they no longer embody the characteristics that made you fall in love in the first place? Anyway, Xena has to pull off a fuckery to get the gods off her back once and for all. Will she and Gabrielle pull it off? Or will the Twilight of the Gods just get even more convoluted?

We talk about Xena Warrior Princess Season 5 Episode 19: Looking Death in the Eye

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 27, 2022

What would you do if you could only have skin for 99 minutes? After over 5 years of watching executive producer Sam Raimi's hit action/adventure show Xena Warrior Princess, Chris and Ally decided to dive deeper into the noted horror auteur's filmography. First up on our list is Darkman, a 1990 superhero origin story starring Liam Neeson as Dr. Peyton Westlake, an awkward dude who loses his skin for a real estate deal.

This is a commentary track, and can be listened to while you watch Darkman! For those watching along, the film starts at 6:33.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 13, 2022
Xena goes undercover as Cleopatra, whose navy is  about to be exploited for the Roman empire. This episode is a vestigial reinforcement of the heteronormative agenda, and we hated it. As Chris says: "There is no reason for this." Anyway, enjoy Natalie Merchant! 

We talk about Xena Warrior Princess Season 5 Episode 18: Antony and Cleopatra

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 29, 2022

Do you ever think about what you're going to do with the rest of your life? You know, when you're too old to do kicks and stuff. Or, alternately, have you ever jerked it in the woods to a lake full of bathing Amazons? If so, you may be entitled to a death penalty! Xena and Gabrielle struggle to find the balance between ancient Amazon tradition and traditions of their own, while Joxer struggles to find the balance between his libido and common decency.

We talk about Xena Warrior Princess Season 5 Episode 17: Kindred Spirits

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 15, 2022

This episode was cobbled together with found footage from a failed television pilot where Selma Blair does an Inuyasha and becomes queen of the Amazons, and it shows! Chris reveals the secrets behind his top notch New Zealand accent and spits some hard facts about Amazon episodes of Xena, while Ally tries not to think about pirates. Finally, we welcome back Karl Urban in his fourth and final role on Xena as a caveman who appreciates the female form. 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 1, 2022

To celebrate this very special episode, Chris and Ally are joined by Mary and Sascha, the hosts of Radio Amphipolis, Germany’s number one Xena podcast! This week, we watch Married With Fishsticks, an episode so terrible it ended with two members of the creative team quitting the show entirely. Kinks are discovered, rude gestures are censored, and many a cringe is to be had as we endure this failed attempt at a retro backdoor pilot conveniently repurposed into what just might be THE worst episode of Xena Warrior Princess. We watch Season 5 Episode 15 of Xena Warrior Princess: Married With Fishsticks

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 18, 2022

In this episode, Xena tells it like it is: if you're trying to kill her baby, she's just not gonna be nice to you. Chris and Ally revel in this well-written episode and discuss the merits of throwing animal carcasses into cities, and celebrate the return of Xena's original costume!

We watch Season 5 Episode 14 of Xena Warrior Princess: Amphipolis Under Siege 

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 25, 2022

It's baby Eve's first big adventure, and she and mama Xena have to outrun the armies of three angry gods that want them dead. Meanwhile, Joxer is still (still!!!) trying to reconcile his feelings for Gabrielle. Will he finally accept his place in the friend zone?

We watch Season 5 Episode 13 of Xena Warrior Princess: Eternal Bonds

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Feb 11, 2022

We know we swore off Sorbo (we Sworbo’d off Sorbo) but we just had to get this last one out of our system. Becaues the writers of Hercules the Legendary Journeys have lost control of their show, so they go on a writers retreat to come up with some new material. Will the real Hercules (in disguise as noted antisemite Kevin Sorbo) be able to save the show? Or will the network just funnel all of their resources into Xena Warrior Princess?

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 28, 2022

Folks, it's baby time! Xena's still got a bun in the oven, and that bun is doing dropkicks! As our warrior princess contends with the dangerous world she's about to bring a child into, the Twilight of the Gods  (aka closing time) looms ever closer. Also, Ally geeks out about film combat, and Chris compares Tartarus and the Elysian Fields to… Ikea?

Featuring music by the Auralnauts and Semisonic.

We watch Season 5 Episode 12 of Xena Warrior Princess: God Fearing Child

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jan 14, 2022

This episode is burdened by two framing devices, each made weaker by the inclusion of the other. Will Ally make Chris laugh? Will Chris lose the bet? Find out! 

We watch Season 5 Episode 11 of Xena Warrior Princess: Punchlines

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 24, 2021

Chris and Ally take on one of the lost episodes of Xena (a jukebox musical that was too expensive for Netflix) and learn that things that are funny in the writer's room aren't always funny on tv. Tune in to watch the last episode before a bunch of the crew jumping ship to work on Lord of the Rings, and try not to lose your entire mind at the RAP BATTLE.

We watch Season 5 Episode 10 of Xena Warrior Princess: Lyre Lyre Hearts on Fire

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Dec 10, 2021

Have you become numb to the violence? If so, this episode is just for you! Xena sort of finds out who her baby daddy is, Chris and Ally sort of try to understand exactly what that means, and Renee O'Connor is elevated to the status of action star. We also get a series wrap on two extremely iconic touchstones of the show. Remember, though: there can be no love without loss, and there can be no Xena Warrior Princess without absolutely wild plots.

We watch Season 5 Episode 9 of Xena Warrior Princess: Seeds of Faith

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 26, 2021

In a classic "be careful what you wish for" hijinks episode, Xena finds herself in a situation that Chris and Ally really struggle with trying to describe. Ally gets dazzled by Renee O'Connor's fight scenes, Chris gets dazzled by some unknown female Kiwi wrestlers, and everyone is twins!

We watch Season 5 Episode 8 of Xena Warrior Princess: Little Problems!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Nov 5, 2021

With Lucy Lawless still medically prohibited from doing backflips, we get a whole episode where Xena stands in one place and doesn't move. The show also gives us something we haven't seen in a long time: a Greg! Perhaps the last Greg ever! Anyway this episode was actually really upsetting and tonally dissonant and it broke Ally. Please enjoy.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Oct 29, 2021

Xena learns that Lao Ma might not have been a great mom, Gabrielle gives Joxer a foot job, and Joxer becomes obsessed with sizeable holes. Meanwhile, in the real world, Chris learns that Chinese cooking is spicy, and Ally learns the true meaning of saltpeter. We got a good twin! We got an evil twin! We got Purity, the sixth episode of season 5 of Xena Warrior Princess!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Oct 15, 2021

Well, listeners, it seems like Chris and Ally are going to have to learn the ways of the shamaness... sooner than you thought. Your hosts are back from hiatus and are joined by Xenite and drag queen Wesley Fox to discuss an extremely wild episode of Xena: Them Bones, Them Bones. If you like spooky season, this is the episode for you! Come for the CGI skeleton fight, stay for Chris's Luffy impression.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Aug 21, 2021

From Chris's JRPG pon farr to Ally's obsession with anime boxing, your dashing podcast hosts catch you up on what they've been up to, and answer some listener-submitted questions. Sorry for the hiatus! We'll be back soon!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Jun 11, 2021

In a very busy episode jam-packed with so many things happening at the same time, Xena asks an important Yahoo question: "Am i gregnant?" Meanwhile, Gabrielle is living having her own Lifetime Original Movie about a girl and a horse learning to trust each other. There's also a knife that sounds like a gun! Chris and Ally sure are a two horse family in this wild, WILD episode!

We talk about Season 5 Episode 4 of Xena Warrior Princess: ANIMAL ATTRACTION.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

May 28, 2021

Having rediscovered the joy of murder, Xena wants to do all of the murders herself. However, now that Gabrielle is done being a pacifist, she would like to do some murders of her own, thank you very much. Meanwhile, Ares needs a new protege, since Xena turned him down, so he gives us a Were-Gabby! Xena by day, Gabrielle by night!

We talk about Season 5 Episode 3 of Xena Warrior Princess: SUCCESSION.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 30, 2021

Whether you prefer the goofier episodes or lean more towards the dramatics, it can't be denied that Chakram is a very significant episode of Xena Warrior Princess. It has character development, lore, new weapons, and some very cool changes to the status quo. We've seen Xena struggling to balance her light and dark sides, but we've never seen her quite like this: with no memories of her dark side whatsoever! We're also joined by special guest Hein Latt, a talented cosplayer and Xena SUPERFAN. 

We talk about Season 5 Episode 2 of Xena Warrior Princess: CHAKRAM.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 16, 2021

We start season 5 off on a high note: Xena and Gabrielle are dead. Anyway, we're doing bible! It's an episode about bible, in a way that only Xena Warrior Princess can give us. Our heroes get caught up in a war between good and evil, and Callisto is there too. Will Chris clarify the meaning of Cultural Christianity, or will Ally have to walk through hell alone, with only the mental image of wheels covered in eyes for company?

We talk about Season 5 Episode 1 of Xena Warrior Princess: Fallen Angel.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Apr 1, 2021

In a time of wrestling gods, brawlers, and rings, the people cried out for a hero... and his name was John Cena!

From heel to hero, John Cena and his incredibly thick body have captivated the hearts and minds of kids, bros and wrestling fans alike. Stone Cold Chris Sims and Mixed-Martial Ally watch his iconic I Quit match against JB in an attempt to better understand basic thuganomics.

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Mar 26, 2021

Flat-earthers beware: Ryan Gosling has entered the chat. Chris and Ally have finally watched some Young Hercules. It had child star turned A-list celeb Ryan Gosling in the titular role, and was the first Renaissance Pictures action pack show that was made both for AND about kids. How does this show compare to the Legendary Journeys, which will no longer be watched or discussed on this podcast? Find out in this episode!

We watched the first three episodes of Young Hercules!

Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

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